As we close on the First 31 of 2011. I still often wonder....Why me? Why am I where I am today?
Mind you, its just two questions I ask myself, forget the answers, and remember them days later. Why me? Well, its pretty simple really, I'm under the impression I was put here to change people's universes one conversation at a time. Weather this is true or not, has yet to be seen. I've realized, that I have the doubled edged ability to create...modify...and destroy worlds as I see fit. We all live in our own little world, that continues to get smaller and smaller the more we realize that people out there know one another. To have people out there, who could change that just a little bit, can result in various results. The destruction of said worlds speaks for itself, just be mean, degrading, and down right rude. While they will still live on without you, there will be a scar placed in their world. Its definitely something I'm not too proud of. For I wish a many days, I could just have people be cool with me and I don't have to go there to do that to them...but...things happen for a reason.
Why am I where I am today? This is a hit or miss question to answer...since there are so many factors of why I'm doing alright and other factors of why I'm not. The short answer at this time, is due to my determination to win and trying really hard not to quit or give up before its all said and done.
The latter concept is one I try to pass onto others who are unfamiliar with how it works. There's quite a few friends of mine who want to give up before its over. Just call upon the negative and move on with their day. Another tough ability to acquire is turning a full on negative into something positive. It took me over 10 years to figure out that one, and I still struggle with it sometimes. It may be a little strange being outside the box...but you'll get used to it for the better I can assure you.
If I've learned all of this within the last 3 years, being half the person I used to be, I can only imagine what life will be like when I'm whole again. 35lbs lighter...that's for sure. :-P
I'll be making these kinds of posts in the near future pending how I feel while typing it up...